"They didn't allow us to stay together. And forced us to check out. I don't know why."

Live-in relationships in India have been legalized but it seems like that’s only on paper. They still face persecution in many day-to-day situations.

The troubles and dishonor that the couples in live-in relations have to go through are yet to be addressed.

In 2015 Supreme Court said: "In modern times, live-in relationship has become an acceptable norm. It is not a crime,"

SC had also ruled that if an unmarried couple is living together as husband and wife, then they would be presumed to be legally married and the woman would be eligible to inherit the property after the death of her partner.

The Constitution of India, Chapter III and Article 21 – Protection of life and Personal Liberty: No person shall be deprived of his life or personal liberty except according to procedure established by law.

I was reading about the status of live-in relations in India the other day and was surprised to find that making a law doesn’t makes a difference when it actually comes to day to day life. It’s really strange that we have laws that legalize live-in relations, provide rights to women in such a relationship and also to the child born out of it; but couples are still facing the problems as though they are committing a crime. Even after years of cases being ruled in favor of live-in relations and laws being formed, the trouble of actually being in one is still an everyday fight for couples.

One such problem I found is that unmarried couples are not allowed in some hotels. They are even ill-treated sometimes. I found many reviews where people posted that they couldn’t book a hotel because it mentioned ‘Unmarried Couples not allowed’. Even some hotels mention it in their policies.

I am just wondering if this is legal. As I thought of this, what crossed my mind, is that sign during the British Raj: ‘Dogs and Indians not allowed.’ This is a similar kind of prejudice and intolerance.

(Image Source : http://www.samacharindia.in/indians-are-not-allowed-in-india/)

In one review a girl mentioned how they were not given a room even when they had a booking. And in another a guy mentions how he was forced to check out within an hour, and yet had to pay 50% of the total tariff! Here is a screenshot I took.

And in another a guy mentions how he was forced to check out within an hour, and yet had to pay 50% of the total tariff! Here is a screenshot I took.

Then I searched if there is any such law that can let hotels put up such rules, I found a news report on hotel rules for unmarried couple.

(Source Link : http://www.thenewsminute.com/lives/507)

Couples are facing a lot of trouble and the law isn’t helping out. They themselves have to go through mind-boggling planning to make one outing safe and enjoyable. And even after preparing like going for a battle they have it in mind that something might go wrong.

This is not all. The bigger problem lies in getting a place to live. If you go to the really upmarket areas, there this may not be that troubling, but everyone can’t afford homes in these areas. While talking to landlords they generally say,

“Yeh sab nahi chalta yaha.” (All this isn’t acceptable here.)

“Kahin aur ja ke karo yeh sab.” (Go elsewhere and do all this.)

“Mummy Papa ko pata hai tumhare?” (Do your parents know what you are doing?)

How can something that is not wrong be so embarrassing?

When laws are passed like ban on smoking in public places, actions are taken up to ensure they are implemented. Shouldn’t there be some fine or action against those who disrespect live-in law/people, treat them as low-life and deprive them of their rights?

People in live-in relation are looked upon as dirty. There are corrupt, selfish, psycho people who are the real threat and still people who just want to stay together out of love are considered as a blot on society. Why has nothing been done yet to change people’s mentality on this? There’s awareness on almost every issue these days. Why not on this?

These are just two problems that I have mentioned. Couples have to go through way more than this.

Ending with many questions and a statement to shout out:

Why should getting married define life, when human life and love should be considered more important above all?

This article was first published on Women's Web on 16th March '16.

This is the unedited version.

"The Overprotective Crows Threatened Me"

It was Friday, 16th April. I came back to my place with thoughts of what am I gonna do over weekend? Lots of things lined up and with all running in my mind, I opened the curtains. As I saw the view just for a mo, suddenly a crow came, sat on the grill and it seemed like it was shouting at me. It was cawing and pecking on the clothes and the rope with it’s beak. I was unable to understand, but then I saw the egg on the base of the grill. And the other crow was sitting there too. And then the other crow started cawing too. They both were snatching the clothes from the rope. It seemed to me like they were threatening me to go.

They are the same crows that come here every day and when we shoo them away they leave. But now I could see they were not scared and they won’t go away. Instead they were trying to make me leave.

I closed the curtains, to tell them they can relax and that we are not going to make them go now. But I know they didn’t understand that. It’s a crow after all.

From yesterday the windows are closed and curtains too. But if I pass from there or take a peek they come right back at me in an instant with their cawing.

There was one egg at that time yesterday. But now there are two and they are beautiful. :-)

The number of eggs kept increasing everyday. Really. And there were total 6 eggs now. We couldn't open the windows, put our clothes to dry up, couldn't even take the clips from the rope. The cawing was always there every now and then. The crows just didn't want us there. Like it's their place.

And one day when I came back from office, I saw one baby crow. It was my first time seeing one. It was so small and looked so delicate. It kept cawing in its baby crow voice. The crows were furious more than ever to see me peek. I quickly took some clicks and left them alone.

"The Auto Hunt"

17^th Nov 2014. It was my birthday and an unexpected incident marked it's stamp somewhere at the back of my brain.

The day started with me getting a courier from a friend when I was in office. It was a great deal for me as I was getting a gift via courier from a long distance friend for the first time.

I left early from office with some friends and we went to a mall. We all were damn hungry so we went to the food court. We had just started eating, when suddenly I realized that the courier was missing. I asked my friend, X who accompanied me in the auto that we took to the mall, if he had seen it. But he hadn’t. I had left it in the auto. It was an important gift for me. So we decided to go look for the auto vala. I was thinking about what could be the chances of finding the package. Only if we could find the auto soon then maybe the auto vala must not have noticed that package as it was kept behind the seat and it could be still there. To add he must not have picked any other passenger too. As we had in mind that if any other passenger or even if the auto vala would see it then they would keep it.

We had taken that auto from outside our office. So we all went back there. We enquired at the auto stand. The auto vala was a Sikh, so we could be more descriptive. Talked to many auto valas and one of them seemed to know him. He gave us his number. My friend dialed and talked to that auto vala. But it turned out that he was a different man. We thought that may be he found the package and so he is lying now. But with the conversation we felt that he seemed to know nothing about dropping us at the mall. So we enquired further and the auto valas told us that he may be from the MG Road. One comes from there and goes back, so we could once go there and check. X and I decided to go while other friends left. We reached MG Road and below the metro station there’s a prepaid taxi stand. Many autos were lined up and auto valas were all crowed for passengers to come. We talked to many of them. Some of them tried to remember as per our description. Some told that they know someone like that but they all were like taking about different guys. It was all kinda mixed up and was not matching. They told us to enquire at the taxi stand and also that there is another auto stand some way ahead. We first went to the prepaid booth and talked to them. They told us if the auto vala brings the package then they’ll keep it and inform us. They took our contact details. We then went to that another stand which was quite far. There also we talked to many auto valas but nothing seemed like working. Till now one thing became clear that a lot of auto valas knew me and that the package was important.

I was getting this thought that we won’t find him now. He came from some other place only and won’t come back.

I was feeling disheartened that I lost the package and started to think about what I would tell D. I went back home all grimed. It was around 11:30 p.m. My birthday passed and I lost the gift. I called D and told him that I lost it. He also felt sad but didn’t say much. This was the thought that I slept with that day.

Next morning at around 9:00 a.m. X came to my place. He told me that we should once again go to MG Road and check. We could wait for some time for auto vala to show up. I was too low to go and it was very cold too. But I wanted to find that package anyhow. So I told him that I would quickly get ready. It was then when he told me that he already found the package. That he got up early and went there and he found the courier at the prepaid booth. The auto vala saw it when he reached home and brought it in the morning to the booth.

And what I thought earlier was that the only chance of getting the courier back was if nobody saw it. The auto vala could have kept it. Or even the pre paid booth vala. But they didn’t. I don’t remember the auto vala. But I would remember this forever. Hope shouldn’t be conditional. I applied so many conditions that I didn’t think for once that may be that auto vala would think that it’s an important package for someone and so he should try to return it. Nothing ever happened that made me distrust so badly. But this incident won’t let me do that ever again.

I told D that I got the package back. For once he couldn’t believe it. He was happy and so was I.

Thanks to that Auto Vala, Prepaid booth vala and X who brought it back. J

Photo Courtesy here